Blog Posts

This one. This one is a doozy. Sometimes the ones that ask the most amount of rhetorical questions are the worst ones to read back. I wrote these questions for no one- the air to answer back. I never in a million years thought i would be sharing these entries long after i had recovered from these feelings. of course, i'm not perfect. i still have days where i have anxiety. but it's a little chihuahua sized hole- not a molten lava sized hole. the hole felt so deep and i felt s

Entry 7 ~ 4/30/16 ~ 9:34 p.m months of hurting. this is when i realized that the people around me didn't care about me. i had spent so much time trying to be their friend. someone that they would want to be their friend. but all that time had been for naught. they didn't care. i didn't fit the mold of who they wanted to take on vacations. i didn't fit the mold of someone they wanted to spend time with. that is not the worst part though. the worst part is that i thought this

I'm not a stranger to pain Like any human, i've felt pain Pain and i are old friends Sometimes it's easy to keep the pain Keep that pain and hold onto it That pain makes me who i am That pain has been with me For so long It’s all i've known for a time I like holding onto it It's the only thing that listens And stays And doesn’t leave me I know I can count on pain Like i can’t count on anything else